How To Deal With A Bad Roommate Situation In College
In a dream world, we all enter college and have a great experience living with a roommate during our freshman year. However, this is real life. And sometimes you get stuck with people that you strongly dislike in situations that are less than ideal. In this article, I really want to help all of my students who got the crappy roomie and want more than anything to have a better living situation.
Bad roommates literally suck. You enter a new stage in your life and a new environment with new people and the last thing you want is a awful roommate that you have to come home to every night. So don’t let your bad roomie be the downfall of your college freshman year!
How To Deal With A Bad Roommate Situation
Create an agreement
I think the biggest piece of advice is to make sure you have set boundaries and rules prior to meeting your roommate. This can offset a lot of potential problems you may have. My roommate and I had verbal agreements, but I also recommend creating an agreement/contract or whatever you’d like to call it because it can be incredibly beneficial if anything serious does come up.
So please create those boundaries and have those important conversations on what you expect from each other before you actually move in together.
If you would like to see the most important questions you should ask your future roomie, check out the related article below.
Related → 11 Most Necessary College Roommate Questions To Ask Before You Meet
But let’s say that you have been living with a roommate for some time now, and you’re noticing some major pet peeves or red flags and you’re completely over it! Well… I’ve detailed some very productive steps to voice your concerns and get into a better living situation.
Hold a meeting with your roommate
I believe that most problems you are facing can be talked out with that person. It could potentially be a complete misunderstanding. I think this is common when you didn’t speak with your roommate much before you moved in. Without much prior conversation, you’re both really just coexisting without knowing what does or doesn’t bother each other.
Voice how you’re feeling and let them know every single thing that is bothering you. Approach them with kindness, but be honest about what is bothering you. This is the only realistic way to resolve a problem between you two without getting anyone else involved. Also, be open and ready to hear if they have anything that’s bothering them as well. They may have a couple of things they haven’t voiced that you may need to work on as their roommate. But I do believe that to avoid most problems, it’s important to get to know each other prior to moving in together.
Get out of there
My second piece of advice is to leave your roommate. If you’re living with someone who is disrespectful, rude, or someone you just don’t like at all, speak with your RA about your options. Most likely you can request to switch rooms or potentially even get your own room if one is available. Now the latter is less likely but it doesn’t hurt to ask!
I don’t want you to be in a small dorm room with someone that stresses you out on the daily. Stress can come from many other places and you don’t want the place you come home to every evening to be a place you dread and don’t feel comfortable in. The emotional and mental toll a toxic situation can have on you is impressionable especially since you’re still so young. Prioritze your happiness and leave if you don’t feel like the problems are resolvable.
Please take this option seriously and get out if you need to!
Speak with your RA
Your RA, aka resident advisor, is there to handle problems that you and your roommate may be having. When you are feeling tension, stress, and anxiety in the one place you’re supposed to feel at “home”, you have to speak up about it. So definitely talk with your floor advisor about ways this problem can be handled!
While my roommate and I got along well very well, we had a problem with one of our suitemates. Every so often she would bring her boyfriend to her room. They were incredibly loud and rude. When we brought this up to her she said she would not be as loud. However, they continued to be loud. So, we ended up speaking with our RA and the situation was sorted out. She also ended up leaving the dorm for reasons I’m not sure of. But the point is, speak up when something is bothering you because you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable in your own living space.
Suitemate: Someone you are living with that you share your bathroom (and potentially living space and kitchen) with and not your room with.
Speak with your parents
This would be the first thing that I would do anyway, ha! My parents tend to give pretty solid advice. So I tend to consult with them when I’m going through stressful situations. Confide in them and let them know how things are going. There is always a solution to fix these major problems in your life and sometimes you get those answers from the people you trust the most!
Let me know if these tips helped you learn how to deal with a bad roommate! Point of the story is that you should never compromise your comfort because of a crappy roommate. Prioritize your happiness and speak up if you’re in an uncomfortable living situation.
